Never miss a look.

What to do instead of finding your personal style. Part 2.

doorway in brooklyn

Often, we turn outwards with questions that can really only be answered by turning inwards.

When we go about finding our personal style, we so often turn outwards for inspiration. We look at pinterest, and instagram, and magazines, and celebrities. We turn outwards with questions that can really only be answered by turning inwards.

I wrote about what to do instead of finding your personal style before, here. I wrote about remembering back to when you knew exactly what you wanted to wear. At some point or other, I bet you knew exactly what you wanted to wear – maybe for some period of time, or to a specific event – but you knew what you wanted to wear and you were going to wear it, dammit.

I don’t try to remember those moments in order to recreate the exact look – but rather to remember what it felt like to be 100% absolutely, positively certain in what I wanted to wear.

In response, Rebecca brought up the distinction between listening to what you want now, and remembering what you wanted then.

Remembering, and listening.

Remember what you wanted to wear then.
Listen to what you want to wear now.

Remembering what you wanted to wear. Listening to what you want to wear now.

Listening to your internal voice. Listening to your muse. Listening to your hut (heart + gut = hut from Alex Franzen). Distinguishing between your deep desires, and the opinions of everyone else.

What do you want to wear?
What do you really want to wear?

The step after remembering what it was like to know your personal style without a doubt – is listening and paying attention to what your personal style is now.

Remember what it felt like to know without a doubt.
Remember what it felt like to feel centered and certain.
Remember what it felt like to clearly hear your internal voice.

And then listen.

The step after remembering is listening.

Where are you now? What do you want to wear now? What do you really want to wear now?

Where are you now?
What do you want to wear now?
What do you really want to wear now?

 

 many, many thanks for sparking this Rebecca!
|| written by Holly Chayes || photography by Madison Neugebauer || model Holly Chayes ||

Uniqlo Clothing Haul – Impulsive or Opportunistic?

Uniqlo Clothing Haul Flat Lay

3 tops and a pair of pants.

I don’t buy clothes often. And when I do, I try to do it intentionally, and as (relatively) non-impulsively as possible.

But given that my only pair of black jeans is currently full of holes and sitting in pile of clothes to be mended, an immediate pair of black jeans was in order.

The shirts on the other hand were the impulse buy(s). They’re cute and fun and I wanted them enough to check out with my pants, and then go back for them.

But then I was wandering around the store I was asking “why?”

why? Why? WHY? do I want these?

And the voice at the back of my head said “ease.”

These pieces embody ease.

They really do. And ease is a quality I always want present in my wardrobe.

I want to be at ease and at home in my clothing. And also at ease and at home in my body inside of my clothing.

While I bought all three shirts impulsively, they weren’t unplanned purchases. I’ve been wanting a handful of loose fitting, dark colored, easy to throw on tee shirts for awhile, and so when I saw them, I jumped on them.

So, maybe I wouldn’t say I bought them impulsively or without control, but rather that I was seizing an opportunity that presented itself. I certainly didn’t go looking for these shirts yesterday, but when I saw them, I bought them.

Is buying clothing that you desire, but weren’t looking for, impulsive? Or are you seizing an opportunity?

|| written by Holly Chayes || photo Holly Chayes || pieces shown: Uniqlo skinny straight jeans in black; drape crewneck short sleeve tee shirt; Disney Beauty and the Beast short sleeve graphic tee; SPRZ NY short sleeve graphic tee (Andy Warhol) ||

What to do instead of finding your personal style.

on the steps in brooklyn

What if personal style is remembered, not found?

When I was a kid, there was a period of years when I would only wear dresses.
But not just any dresses – dresses. with skirts. that twirled.
Skirts that – with some imagination – elevated playgrounds to ballrooms, and turned dresses of every color into yellow ballgowns.

The point is, I wore dresses everywhere.
Sun, rain, snow? Whatever.
Playing, dancing, building, skiing? Didn’t matter.
I knew what I wanted to wear. I would wear it. And practicality would bend itself to my 5 year old will.

This got me thinking.

At some point or other, I bet you knew exactly what you wanted to wear – maybe for some period of time, or to a specific event – but you knew what you wanted to wear and you were going to wear it, dammit.

What to do instead of finding your personal style? Remember it.

Not (necessarily) to recreate the look.
I’ve definitely worn looks that I don’t want to remember, let alone recreate. (But then again, the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and early 00s have all come back around at some point or another – so maybe let’s keep our options open.)

But what if we remembered the feelings of clarity, of confidence, of delighting in what we were wearing.

What if instead of searching to find our style, we remember what it felt like to know our personal style.

 

|| written by Holly Chayes || photography by Madison Neugebauer || model Holly Chayes ||

2 quotes, 12 questions, 8 statements, and 7 comments to reconquer your wardrobe with

dresses by Rei Kawakubo (Comme des Garçons) on display at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manus x Machina

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
– Oscar Wilde

She wore Dior. She’s in Calvin Klein.
She wore Versace. He’s in Chanel.
She wore Marchesa. She’s in Vera Wang.
She’s wearing Zara. He’s in the same thing from H&M.

She wore that well.
That dress is eating her alive.
She looks stunning.
That pattern really dominates the picture.
He looks a hot mess.
She did not come to play.
She is killing it.

What is fashion? What is stye? Do clothes speak?
Who made it? Where is it made? How is it made?
Who was it made for? Why was it bought?
Is it too much? How did we get here?
What is too much? What is too little? Who says so?

“The sexiest people are thinkers. Nobody’s interested in somebody who’s just vain with a hole in their head, talking about the latest thing – there is no latest thing. It’s all rubbish.”
– Vivienne Westwood

|| written by: Holly Chayes || photograph by: Holly Chayes || photograph of: dresses by Rei Kawakubo (Comme des Garçons) on display at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manus x Machina || many thanks to: Lynn at Mad Hatters NYC for noting the designer of these dresses in her post about the exhibit, otherwise I never would have found it, because I certainly didn’t write it down… ||